Top Ten Modified Thanksgiving Quotes

Need some inspiration to be thankful? Need something to do with your free time on Thanksgiving? Here are ten famous quotes that have been slightly modified to make them meaningful to Thanksgiving. At the bottom you can try your skill at matching the famous person who said the quotes before they were modified.

1. "I thank, therefore I am."

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2. "We have nothing to thank, but fear itself."

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3. "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can thank for your country."

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4. "Be the thankfulness that you wish to see in the world."

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5. "Always thank your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."

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6. "That which does not kill us makes us thankful."

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7. "Whether you think that you can thank, or that you can't thank, you are usually right."

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8. "If you don't know where you are thankful, any road will get you there."

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9. "I can live for two months on a good thanksgiving."

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10. "We are what we repeatedly thank; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit."

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Try matching the following people with the author of the above quotes before they were changed. They are not in any order. Answers Below.


A. Henry Ford
B. Lewis Carroll
C. Oscar Wilde
D.Rene Descartes
E.Aristotle
F.Franklin D. Roosevelt
G.Mahatmi Gandhi
H.Friedrich Nietzsche
I.Mark Twain
J. John F. Kennedy

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Answers:
1. D.; 2. F; 3. J.; 4. G.; 5. C.; 6. H.; 7. A.; 8. B.; 9. I.; 10. E.

If They Asked Me to Write the Health Care Law

I’d make it illegal for any school to call two snow days in a row because it can stress the health care system with lots of parents having nervous breakdowns.
All people would be required to purchase snow insurance, so that professionals would shovel their driveway and the health system wouldn’t be stressed with back injuries in the Winter.

The EPA would be charged with a top priority to locate and destroy poison ivy, giving them massive powers to enter people’s private backyards to accomplish this.

If people refuse to purchase health insurance their penalty is they would be required to join a health club/fitness center of their choice and get a weekly massage.

Health insurance would be required to cover all dental care without any yearly maximums.

Death panels would be created to provide counseling so that people over age 40 understand they have the right to end the life of their warts.

Patients may not be forced to stay on any medicine just because they have a pre-existing prescription.

Water companies will be required to stop adding fluoride to the water and instead add H2O.
Children can stay on their parents health insurance until they get a real job.
Clinics will be created in all airports and people can avoid the TSA security check-in if they schedule their annual physical exam prior to boarding a flight.

Since dog owners live longer and are healthier, every family who owns a dog will receive a tax credit.

Doctors will be required to acquire a Facebook account and “Friend” all their patients, to encourage better communication between doctors and patients.

This is just a start. President Obama can call me anytime for the rest of my ideas.